Dustin: All right, here we are with Lai Lam. Lai is a woman of many talents and a good friend of mine. Lai, why don't you tell us briefly about the things you do in life?
Lai: My name is Lai. I have been a pharmacist for the last ten years, a realtor for the last three years, and now I am the founder of my own dating app, Resumate.
Dustin: Resumate, that’s a great angle. We’ll talk mostly about that today. To start, what values guide the way you run your business or lead your team? What drives you?
Lai: I developed Resumate out of my own heartbreak and frustration with the modern dating scene. I wanted something honest, intentional, and respectful to everyone. I believe dating should be approached with the same seriousness and clarity as any other meaningful life decision. We value depth over dopamine, intention over impulse, and alignment over attraction alone.
Dustin: I like that. Let’s talk about your non-negotiables, either in your personal life or in business. How do you treat your clients, partners, or in this case, users?
Lai: You have to be respectful and transparent with everyone; those are my non-negotiables. There will be no manipulation, no "dark patterns," and no exploiting loneliness for profit. Users deserve clarity about how the app works, how decisions are made, and what they are signing up for.
Dustin: That makes sense. How do you define integrity in your work?
Lai: Integrity means building what I wish existed. This type of dating app doesn't exist in the market right now. The way this works is intentionally harder, slower, and less profitable in the beginning. I want to slow everyone down to make decisions that protect users long-term, instead of just boosting short-term metrics.
Dustin: I love focusing on quality and helping the user understand the nature of quality. It’s so easy to swipe left or right, but you’re focusing on what is valuable. Instead of superficial swiping, you want what's inside, the inner beauty. You want to align core values before anything else.
Lai: Exactly.
Dustin: What inspired you to start Resumate?
Lai: My own heartbreak and frustration. It’s not that I can’t find a boyfriend, that’s easy. But finding a compatible partner to share my life and vision with is different. If your visions don't align, what’s the point? Chemistry can cloud your judgment, and down the road, you realize it’s not what you wanted and you’ve wasted each other's time.
Dustin: I’ve wasted plenty of time in the dating scene, so I can attest to that. What gap are you addressing in the market?
Lai: Resumate starts with "heavy" questions to get the elephant out of the room. It asks about your goals, vision, dreams, thoughts on marriage and kids, and your deal-breakers. These are things nobody wants to talk about early on, so Resumate asks them for you. These are open-ended questions where you type your own answer, and our AI condenses it into a one-page summary for an easy-to-read "resume." Based on that, you send your resumes to each other and are prompted into a video call. There is no catfishing because you meet via video before an in-person date.
Dustin: So you front-load the work to determine if there is a fit. That allows the initial meet-and-greet to go better and, ideally, the date to go great.
Lai: Definitely. There will be no heartbreak down the line due to misalignment. It’s a good idea for both men and women.
Dustin: How has your mission evolved over time?
Lai: It started as helping people date better, but now I want to help protect their time, emotional health, and future. You don’t want to pour your heart and soul into something only to find out it’s not the right match.
Dustin: You’re a beautiful woman, and I imagine you get lots of people trying to communicate with you. This helps you and others avoid people who aren't a good fit.
Lai: Totally. My inbox is bombarded with messages and there is no way to filter them all. You can go on dates all day long, but you still have to ask the exact same questions every time. This saves everyone a lot of time.
Dustin: What personal experiences shaped how you operate today?
Lai: Being a pharmacist and realtor, I’ve been helping people find medicine and houses. Now it’s time for me to help them find love. If anyone can crack this modern dating code, I know I can do it.
Dustin: What does a typical user experience look like?
Lai: Like you mentioned, there is no swiping. It’s too time-consuming. It’s very intentional. Profiles are side-by-side, kind of like a yearbook. You see everyone at once, and whichever one catches your eye, because love is not blind, you click into it. You read about their values, goals, and deal-breakers. It’s like applying for a job or school; anything meaningful requires effort and clarity. Love is not a game, so the swiping goes away.
Dustin: How do you ensure the quality or consistency of the "product", the users?
Lai: Like what we’re doing right now. We are talking on FaceTime. You can’t hide. This is a real person talking to you. Unless you’re using a filter to blur the background, you can’t change your face. This purposely slows people down and encourages honesty.
Dustin: To be fair, I was playing with TikTok filters over New Year's and they can make me look totally different, but I take your point.
Lai: On my app, you don’t have that. There are no filters on my app.
Dustin: Good point. What daily systems or habits keep the business aligned with your mission?
Lai: Every decision we make is guided by one question: “Does this help people navigate the modern dating scene with more clarity, or does it simply create more noise?” We prioritize clarity over convenience and intention over engagement.
Dustin: You’re a startup, and you’re doing everything in your power to build this vision. When it comes to choosing partners or collaborators, how do you choose those people?
Lai: I choose based on honesty and their way of thinking. They shouldn't just be looking for a short-term profit; they should want to make the world better and value what actually matters.
Dustin: Give me an example of the types of companies or people you would like to find for a Resumate collaboration.
Lai: I want to attract women first; where women go, men will follow. I’m collaborating with Sparkle Bar, a local beauty salon in Arizona, to do a makeup collab and raise awareness. We’ll do makeup and a profile picture for your Resumate profile. I’m also collaborating with a Pilates instructor for monthly classes. The upcoming event I have is a salsa dance night with an instructor the Friday before Valentine’s Day. It’s about local business owners, events, and word-of-mouth.
Dustin: So, anyone looking to build a community and combine forces.
Lai: Yes, because I cannot do this myself. I need a lot of help.
Dustin: What guiding principle keeps you aligned when things get complicated?
Lai: I rely on one question: “Would I want someone I love using this app?” If I care about you, Dustin, would I want you on my app? Would it benefit you?
Dustin: The theory of servitude, is someone able to gain something from this?
Lai: Exactly. What good am I if the app doesn't provide value?
Dustin: In what ways do you feel responsible to your community?
Lai: I feel responsible for protecting people, especially women, from manipulation, burnout, and false hope. Life is already hard; dating shouldn't be this hard.
Dustin: How do you hope your presence impacts people?
Lai: There have been many times I wanted to wave the white flag and give up on finding love. It’s sad to think about, but I’ve come way too far to give up. My life is beautiful, and I just want to share that with someone else. I want to give that same opportunity to others so they don't feel hopeless or stuck like a sitting duck waiting for love to happen to them. I created this space because I wanted it for myself.
Dustin: What is your vision for the next three to five years?
Lai: We launched in Arizona on December 5th, 2025. My goal is for Resumate to be a household name, the go-to platform for intentional dating. One state at a time. I’m going to take down Arizona, then Texas, Hawaii, and eventually go international.
Dustin: What do you hope a user would say about Resumate?
Lai: That this is different. That it is life-changing and actually respects your time and your heart.
Dustin: How would someone know that to be true compared to other popular apps?
Lai: Most apps are swiping based on a face. Mine focuses on the "inner beauty", the deep end of core values and deal-breakers. Because these are open-ended questions rather than multiple choice, you see what the person typed from their own heart. That reflects the person more than a pre-generated answer or a superficial picture.
Dustin: I agree. That creates a level of trust because you can fully express who you are through your own words.
Lai: Right, because looks eventually fade. We’re going to have wrinkles everywhere. What lasts is your heart, your brain, and your soul.
Dustin: Finish this sentence: "At the end of the day, my business exists to..."
Lai: "...help people make clear, healthier choices about love before time, emotion, and energy are wasted."
Dustin: That’s beautiful. Is there anything else you’d like to add? Where can people find you?
Lai: Download Resumate! It’s available at resumate.org and on the Apple App Store and Google Play Store. I’ll be in Arizona if you want to find me!
Dustin: I’m on Resumate too, so if you want to find me...
Lai: Resume to me! I accept all applications.
Dustin: Thank you so much, Lai. I appreciate your time. Go to resumate.org and I look forward to seeing you out on the dating scene.
